Hi! I have put the blog on a temporary hiatus due to life stuff. However, I will be revamping the blog and hope to reopen it early 2014. Please watch our Facebook page for updates and for open scheduling.

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Friday, November 9, 2012

Closet Confidential: What Your Clothes Say About You!

In my novel, Prince Charming, Inc., my heroine Elyse Tobin has a red dress buried in the back of her closet. It represents everything she doesn't want to think about. It's denial. It's life. It's sex. It also is right there when she comes to her turning point. That one little dress is a big part of her character and her story. I didn't even think about it when I was writing. It was just a part of her.

So what's in your closet? It's time to blow open the doors! I'll go first.

Swoosh! Closet open. Luckily, there aren't any skeletons. Well, not the bones kind. I'm glad that my clothes can't talk. I have an outfit that my husband refers to as the "slut skirt". I was wearing it the first time we met. Yes, it's a little risqué, but shouldn't all skirts have a dragon motif and a slit that goes from the hem to mid-thigh? Maybe not. Anyway, it got me a husband.

More digging. Ah yes, here at the back is my little black dress. It's from my days when I enjoyed a lot of clubbing and free drinks from male admirers. Do I want that life again? I don't think so, but I love having the dress and the memories.

In front of the LBD is a pink floral print number. It's a favorite. I got married in it. That was a great day. After a morning ceremony under our apple trees my husband made everyone pancakes and heart shaped sausages. Like I said, we're all different. Heart-shaped sausages really do it for me.

So what does my closet say about me? Reformed party girl? Happily married? Dog-hair-covered-yoga-pants pet enthusiast? All of the above and more.

Our clothes tell our stories. My closet is my history. A museum dedicated to me. And so should it be with our favorite book characters. So what did your most memorable heroines wear? Sweeping, sequined gowns?  A tight pair of jeans?  A hand knit sweater passed down from one generation to another? I'd like to know!

BIO: Jamie Brazil writes fiction and lives in PortlandOregonhttp://jamiebrazil.com 

Prince Charming, Inc.

From long haul drivers to plumbers, matchmaker Elyse Tobin refurbishes and retrains men then sells them off as husbands to wealthy socialites. 
Womanizing lothario Nick Salvatore is a millionaire restaurateur with looks, charm and wit.  He’s the man Elyse models all her fixer-uppers after… the man who seduced her three years ago… and the one man she wants nothing to do with despite his ongoing efforts to woo her.
But when Elyse’s latest groom goes south, the IRS audits her, and her home is about to be foreclosed, she discovers the one man she can count on is the one she’s spent years avoiding. 

Here’s an EXCERPT from Prince Charming, IncMy heroine, Elyse, has  a closet full of regrets, but none greater than the life-changing red dress with the plunging neckline… that her best friend talks her into wearing to an IRS audit.  

“Is that the dress I think it is?” Jackie quizzed.  “You haven’t worn that in years.”
She hadn’t.  The vintage Halston, another rummage sale score, had a history of trouble.  The Nick Salvatore kind of trouble.  She hadn’t worn it for three years, since the night she’d wound up in bed with Nick.  As dresses go, it was dangerous.  It was a loaded gun of seduction.  There was nothing innocent about it, which was why she banished the disco-era cocktail dress to the far reaches of her closet.  She should have retired it to the attic.  Elyse closed the closet door.  “It’s a little low cut.”
“That’s an understatement.  I love that dress.”  Jackie hopped off the bed, flung open the closet door and pulled out the dress.  “It’s fabulous!”
“For an uninhibited night on the town, maybe,” Elyse argued.  “It’s completely wrong for an audit.”
“You are so wrong,” Jackie chided her.  “Ninety percent of IRS employees are scruffy little accountant men locked in cubicles with calculators.  Wear something that says Hello Mr. Auditor, here are my boobs, everything is fine.”  She twirled in a circle holding the dress against her.
Elyse shook her head.  “Maybe something wool?  Something with total cleavage coverage.  Wool armor.  And maybe a nice Pendleton plaid chastity belt?”
“You can’t wear wool,” Jackie gasped.  “You’ll sweat like a pig.  A tax-evading pig.”
“I’m sure the Federal Building has air conditioning.”  Elyse went back to her closet and dug out a ski sweater with snowflakes patterned across the chest.  “This is good.  Snowflakes.  Pure as the driven snow.”
“You’ll itch and fidget.  Nothing says lock me away like fidgeting. Wear the red.”
Undeterred, Elyse held up her favorite pair of Levi 501 jeans.  The ones that didn’t fit.  Damn cheesecake.  She burrowed into the shelves searching for a butt-shrinking foundation garment.  “I’m always comfortable in jeans.”
“Too casual.  Go for sexy.  Wear the red dress.”  Jackie waved the Halston in her face.  “Trust me.  This is your winning ticket.”
Elyse cringed.  “It’s at two in the afternoon.  Who wears a red dress at two in the afternoon?”

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