Tell us about your family.
Death: Ha! How much time have you got? They all have their little, shall we say, quirks. I love my twin sister, Hypnos, but she drives me crazy sometimes. And my parents… sometimes the universe isn’t a big enough place, you know? My father Erebos is a little too stuck on himself, and never gives me a break. Funny, though – he really came through for me at the worst possible time. Nyx, my mom, is the quintessential goddess mother – I can talk to her about anything, and she always makes me feel loved.
Azrael: I consider all beings to be part of the universal family.
Damien: *whistles* Really? So when you’re boinking Death, you’re committing incest? You’re sick, dude.
Azrael: Of course not. I’m not related in any way to Death.
Damien: But you just said we’re all related. Which is it, Azrael?
Azrael: I meant in a philosophical sense, Damien.
Damien: Philosophically, you want to boink your sister. Seriously, dude. *gags*
Azrael: *heavy sigh* Can we move on?
What was the scariest moment of your life?
Death: Being trapped in my own charm bracelet. I hate to even think about it. *shudders* If I actually were alive, it would have scared the life out of me. But I’ve made sure King Sisyphus can never do that to me again. Or Damien. I don’t want to give too much of the story away. You’ll just have to read it yourself.
Azrael: The moment I heard Death was missing. *glares at Damien* I knew you were behind it.
Damien: Moi? Commit a misdeed? How could you think such a thing?
Azrael: Right. Demons are perfect angels.
Damien: More perfect than you, dude.
Azrael: Your ego is astounding.
Damien: *gestures to crotch* Only because it matches the size of my –
Azrael: Can we move on?!
What’s your greatest weakness?
Death: Babies. I usually have no trouble fulfilling my duties, but if it’s a babe… *her eyes well with tears* I find it very difficult.
Azrael: *shifts in seat* I used to have some difficulty speaking in public. Now that I’ve been promoted to the head of the Department of Death and Dying, I’m working on that flaw. *stops to glare at Damien, who’s silently mimicking him* Do you have a problem?
Damien: Dude, get over yourself. No one listens to you anyway. *turns to interviewer, taps cheek* Greatest weakness, greatest weakness… now that’s a toughie. Mainly because I have so many. The top two are hot cars and hot babes. If I see a sweet car sitting all by its lonesome, it practically begs me to take it for a spin. And what’s the fun in going for a spin in a hot car all by yourself? So natch, I find a hot babe to share the ride. And whoo hoo, it’s usually a really hot ride, if you catch my drift.
Azrael: *rolls eyes* And you claim to love Death so much.
Damien: I do. She’s Numero Uno on the list. But she’s always busy with work. Or whatever… *takes a sudden interest in his fingernails and hums*
Azrael: What are you implying?
Damien: Just that she’s a hot babe, and I’m not the only other guy hot for her. If you’re smart, Death, you’ll play the field – er, realm – before settling down.
Azrael: *jaw clenches* You –
Damien: *smiles sweetly* Can we move on?
What are you passionate about these days?
Death: *looks off dreamily* That’s an easy question. Azrael. He’d always come off as somewhat aloof, maybe a bit too high and mighty, but whew! *she fans herself* Beneath that cool, professional exterior is one red-hot fiery angel, believe me.
Azrael: *cheeks redden* Well…
Damien: *jaw goes slack, eyes deaden* Just say it, dude. Everyone already knows it’s Death.
Azrael: Okay, yes, it’s Death. She’s amazing.
Damien: *wicked gleam fills his eyes* You get all hot and bothered around her, is that what you’re saying?
Azrael: None of your business.
Damien: Eh, you’re a dud. You even admitted it.
Azrael: *says proudly* I’ve had no complaints from Death.
Damien: She’s too sweet to say anything…
Azrael: *smiles to himself* Did you happen to notice the double rainbow the other day? That was because Death and I –
Damien: *growls* Yeah, fine, we get it. You did it twice. Let’s move on.
Azrael: *sighs and smiles dreamily, gazing at Death*
Who should play you in a film?
Death: Oh, I love this question. Claudia Black is perfect for the role. In fact, Cate Masters already planned the entire cast. You can view the Casting Call on her blog: http://catemasters.blogspot.com/2012/08/casting-call-death-is-bitch.html
Azrael: Great question. Paul Walker is perfect for the role. Check out the Casting Call and you’ll see.
Damien: Talk about perfect casting – Colin Farrel, man. He’s like my doppelganger. Seriously. Don’t you think so? Stunning, intense, a babe magnet all the way.
What drew you to each other?
Death: *smiles at Azrael* He’s everything a male should be – powerful yet gentle, thoughtful and caring. More handsome than any man in all the worlds.
Azrael: Oh, you’re just biased. *grins* Death is everything I’ve ever wanted. We have this crazy chemistry, and I couldn’t keep away from her any longer.
Damien: Take one look at Death. Is she not the most gorgeous female you’ve ever seen? Who could blame me for going gaga over her? One day she’ll realize her mistake and I’ll be waiting. I will, Death.
What one word best describes you?
Death: A workaholic. It runs in my family, really. One of my goals is to balance work and pleasure, but it’s a challenge.
Damien: Fan-fucking-tastic! *grins*
Azrael: *mumbles* You mean asshole.
Damien: *feigns shock* Why Azrael, I can’t believe you used that word. I’m calling your superior.
Azrael: Get real, demon. I have no superior. *pumps fist*
What’s your guilty pleasure?
Death: Music of any type. Thank goodness Acragas included a special charm for my new bracelet. Now I can listen to any song I want to hear at the touch of a charm. Isn’t he a clever silversmith?
Azrael: *reddens* Well, Death and I have been experimenting... Discretion and valor demand I not reveal anymore.
Damien: *exasperation morphs to mischief* Guilt? Don’t know what you’re talking about. If something gives you pleasure, I say go for it.
Favorite vacation spot.
Death: Ha, vacation. I am waaayy overdue for one. A few millenium, actually. But I’ve had my eye on this little hut on the water in Belize. The image alone is so relaxing, but someday I’m going to bring Azrael there. It’s just big enough for two, and would be a wonderful getaway for us. He hasn’t had a vacation in eons either.
Azrael: It’s true, literally eons. Now that we’ve brought Damien and Sisyphus to justice, it will be easier to plan a vacation.
Damien: I live my existence as a vacation, man. Well, I did until recently.
What is something people would be surprised to know about you?
Death: That I have a soft side. Sometimes all those cartoonish images of me really hurt. I may not be human, but I have feelings. I’m not some creepy Halloween figure with a scythe and black robes. I’m much classier than that.
Azrael: I’m not exactly a ladies’ man. I get tongue-tied around women I like.
Damien: *bursts out laughing* Tongue tied! you mean like this? *twists his forked tongue into a pretzel braid* Babes love the split tongue effect, too, if you know what I mean.
Azrael: *rises* This is a waste of time. Interview over. What do you say, Death?
Death: You’re right. We don’t get enough alone time. Thanks for the interview! I’ll see you later, but don’t worry – not for awhile. *grins, and floats away*
Damien: *rises* Hey, I’ll come too. She’d love a threesome.
Azrael: *bares teeth at Damien. His wings whoosh open, and he rockets into the sky*
Damien: *blows raspberries* Show-off. *cozies up to interviewer* Now, how about your number? We have a lot to cover yet… Hey, where are you going? Oh, whatever. I’ll round up some other babes. Adios! *whirls away. A shadowy cloud fills the spot where he stood, then fades*
Death Is A Bitch
by Cate Masters
Eternity can suck when it’s all work, work, work. Death harvests souls even when they stack up faster than pancakes in an all-you-can-eat-buffet. No wonder she can’t shed the Grim Reaper rep.
As the patron angel of death and dying, Azrael works closely with Death but is dying for true intimacy. She’s the only immortal who’s ever aroused such powerful emotions in him. One taste of her leaves him needing her like humans need air and food, but will a demon’s lies leave a bad taste?
No one escapes Death – except King Sisyphus. Twice. With the help of Damien the demon, Sisyphus tries again, and she’s determined to have justice. Some say Death’s a bitch, but only when she has to be. But will the price of justice be a broken heart?
Death Is A Bitch is available at:
Decadent Publishing: http://www.decadentpublishing.com/product_info.php?products_id=598&osCsid=1rs5de21jcfh2ov3ikjhd26tk4
All Romance Ebooks: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-deathisabitch-904931-140.html
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/death-is-a-bitch-cate-masters/1112332842?ean=2940014956710
Coffee Time Romance: http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/BookStore/pubs_product_book_info/decadent-publishing-c-93/death-is-a-bitch-p-8338
Death stepped from the shadowy curtain of night along a deserted stretch of road toward the mangled hunk of cherry-red metal that used to be a sweet Z240 sports car. Stardust glinted in the black hair that dipped to her waist.
She kept a safe distance from the wreck. Inside, a thirtyish man slumped behind the wheel, the air bag deflating away from his near-lifeless body. Blood oozed from a nasty gash to his head. Should have worn his seat belt. Too late for life lessons, though. Those weren’t her expertise anyway. Just the opposite.
Leaves crackled in the underbrush beyond the nearby trees. Death gripped the silver charm bracelet on her wrist, her senses on high alert. Her finger poised near the hidden latch, ready to release a stream of lightning.
A deer. It stilled, its wide eyes fixed on her.
Seeing nothing else, she continued with a modicum of caution. Taking souls didn’t exactly make her popular, and after so many millennia, she should’ve been used to it. The bad jokes. The Halloween parodies. A scythe? Please. She’d never used cheap props. Only the finest weaponry. No mortal ever suspected the intricately designed baubles adorning her bracelet were anything more than ornamental.
Moonlight gleamed off the curves of the sports car, and she ran a gilded nail along its hood. She wouldn’t mind taking one of these babies for a spin. In its former condition, of course, before this guy took the curve too fast and wrapped it around a tree. Humans always rushed everywhere, sometimes straight into her arms.
The man’s moan signaled she had no need for weapons. This one would give her no trouble. She fingered his blond hair, matted with blood. What a shame. So young, and so handsome. He’d leave at least one lover grieving, no doubt.
His eyes fluttered open. When he looked up, recognition intensified the flicker of life in his eyes.
She needed no introduction. They always knew her, unmistakable in the glimmering black filament gown, its folds revealing a glimpse into infinity.
The stilettos usually earned a second glance, the four-inch heels glistening like fool’s gold. The butterfly tattoo spanning her upper arm likewise drew curious looks, which inevitably changed to horror when the souls recognized the face imprinted within that colorful ink: their own.
~~About the Author~~
Cate Masters loves romance with a dash of magic and mayhem! Multipublished in contemporary to historical, sweet to erotic, fantasy/dark fantasy to speculative, she sometimes mashes genres. Reviewers have described her stories as “so compelling, I did not want to put it down,” and “such romantic tales that really touch your soul.”
When not spending time with her family, she can be found in her lair, concocting a magical brew of contemporary, historical, and fantasy/paranormal stories with her cat Chairman Maiow and dog Lily as company. Look for her at http://catemasters.blogspot.com and in strange nooks and far-flung corners of the web.
Cate loves to hear from readers! Friend her on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cate-Masters/89969413736?ref=ts or Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2944596.Cate_Masters or email her at: cate.masters AT gmail.com